Dahdtoudi Noguchi was once Machiko Noguchi, newly-promoted overseer of the Prosperity Wells farming colony on Ryushi.
Things changed, and Machiko changed with them, into Da'dtou-di, "Little Knife" in the yautja tongue.
She is now sole caretaker in permanent of the planet of Ryushi. Her only companions are three very well-fed and tame rhynth, and a dog named Creep.
She is waiting. She waits for the yautja to return, as she knows they will, and when they return she will join them in their Hunt.
Dahdtoudi is a very honorable person, and often very cold. She is from the far future, and has been outside of human contact or otherwise for close on two years. While she is a trained businesswoman and capable of working a room, some of her personal skills have atrophied as a result of her extended period of solitude. Do not expect her to be understanding all the time, though her honor requires her to make an honest effort to do so.
Unless otherwise noted, entries in this journal are available to outside comments and are not locked.
I've never been very good at keeping diaries. There was never much of a point, before. My life wasn't the sort of life I particularly cared to keep track of. But out here where there's nobody to listen, it's funny, but that usually makes it easier to talk.
Most of the time I talk to Creep, though. Life has always been something I lived more than I sat down and reflected on - if you keep yourself busy you never have time for anything like that.
There's still not much of a point. Life is less stressful, but I rather like living. It usually ends up just a schedule for the month, just to make sure I know what I need to prepare for, what supplies I might need to make use of, little things that might add up to bigger things if I'm less alert.
But sometimes I get an itch in the small of my back and I can't get rid of it by scratching behind Creep's ears.
So that's what this is about, I think. A diary. I don't know yet what I'll put in you, diary, but you're here now.
Ryushi is hot. Sometimes, Dahdtoudi thinks, it's got to be hot enough even the skin of the Devil himself would peel and blister like hers might if she wasn't covered head to toe in protective fabric. But hot or not, she put this off too long and now she's going to damn well pay for it in liters of water sweated and potential heat-stroke. This isn't even the worst heat of the day for this time of year - if she'd been out earlier, in the Ryushan mid-day heat, it would have been because she was ready to commit suicide for being a hopeless idiot, and she was neither hopeless nor an idiot. Or suicidal.
The ground is soft and flaky beneath the grind of the shovel, but the shrub tickling the hardness of her boot isn't the kind that lives off the minimal rainwater Ryushi gets this time of year, and it's not any of the transplants Chigusa left behind with their genetically modified adaptations that none of her rhynth eat anymore anyway, so at least she knows she isn't delusional.
Yet.
She sketches the shape of the well into the dirt, huffing and relishing the stickiness of the thick cloth wrapped around her face; when she breathes in she can taste dirt on her tongue. For a moment after she finishes carving the furrows into the ground she has to step back and rest her arms on the handle of the shovel, breathing heavily.
Spot nudges the dip behind her knee with his snout, awkward with simple and useless curiosity, and brings her back to the world beyond the breath in her lungs. She blinks stinging salt from her eyes. Her hand tightens around the shovel grip. Slowly, she starts to dig.
It'll be worth it, though, she knows, because this well won't be so far.
[VOICE TRANSCRIPT:] ... you couldn't ask for the stupidest thing? No. You asked for the most embarrassing thing.
Well, I'll tell you the stupidest thing I ever did first, and then I'll tell you the most embarrassing one. It sounds less idiotic that way.
The stupidest decision I ever made while completely sober was the time I tried flying a copter and thinking that I'd be okay because I knew how to handle it because I knew how to handle a bike. It doesn't matter if it was the only way to stay alive at the time: it was still stupid. But I'm not embarrassed by it. Doing that stupid thing kept me alive to hunt another day. But ...
I crashed it. The helicopter. I survived. My passenger didn't. That's what makes it dishonorable, and why I'll never let myself forget that it was a stupid, foolhardy, insane idea, and that I need to make sure I'm never in a position where I have to rely on something stupid like that again.
But the most embarrassing thing ... the most embarrassing thing I ever did sober was the way I spent the first twenty-nine years of my life. And I was sober for most of it. There's no dignity in coldness, and no honor in disinterest. I goose-stepped my way through life and I expected to be able to force the world to do what I wanted, like a petulant, frightened child who never understood how to grow up.
Which, as mature as I was then, I was. I was juvenile. I was intelligent, but I was stupid. Going to Ryushi, though, that changed who I was, and I grew up. I had to, after all. What was I going to do? Die? Without even proving to the world I had worth?
I learned a lot my first year on Ryushi. Nothing I'll ever do after that year can embarrass me.
... yeah, not even falling flat on my face in rhynth shit. [END LOG.]
251. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done while sober? Word Count: 332
If I had to pick a word that I wanted removed, it would be xenomorph. Not that it isn't a fine word - but anyone who has ever confronted one and survived (I was lucky - I didn't lose any body parts in the process, though I could have if I'd been less capable. But I wasn't, and I won't be next time.) knows that as a common term for the creatures usually saddled with the name it's totally inadequate.
It's the only damned word that seems to stick, though. There aren't many adequate words in any human language for what a creature like that's really like, up close.
How do you explain terror made real in a word? "Xenomorph" is just an attempt to make us feel better by pretending something like that can be limited, controlled, reckoned with instead of killed before it grows powerful enough to kill us.
It is a very dry and clinical word and completely incongruous when applied to reality. Life doesn't work like that. They don't work like that. They can't be treated like objects of study. They're predators, and without being smarter and meaner than they are all we'll remain in their empty, eyeless faces is easy prey.
I suppose that's the word I'd replace it with. Just "predator". There's no malice to them. They kill and they hunt and they eat and they are made for it. They're ... I'm sorry, the word I want to use is "perfect". You might think that obscene, but they are.
Which is what makes them easy to kill - if you're clever about it, and fast enough.
You have to be both.
And you have to be scared.
258. What words would you like to see added to/removed from common use? Word Count: 280
It's late evening when Dahdtoudi Noguchi finally PINpoints into the yard of the apartment building she's currently living in; the sun has already set, and the moon is only just beginning to rise. There is a gust of wind as her sudden presence shoves the ambient air out of the way, and she sags, the bag she's carrying finally slipping out of her hand to thunk against the ground.
She's had better days. After a moment of kneeling on the ground to catch her breath, she shoves herself back to her feet, a satisfied smirk on her face, beneath her helmet.
She left wearing work clothes. She returns wearing her awa'usa. The armor bears several new scars, particularly on her left gauntlet, chest plating, and headgear. A second bag is slung across her back; its contents clatter against each other. The bottom of the bag bulges slightly, like a pole or pole-shaped object is shoved up tightly against the fabric and it doesn't quite fit properly.
Something in the air seems different. Dahdtoudi would be foolish to ignore the sensation, and so she pulls a knife out of its sheath on her leg before using her key to open the door.
It doesn't take her long to determine that most of her roommate's belongings are gone, and have been for some time.
Much longer than the five days she'd spent on Ryushi.
Her reaction is short and to the point: "What the fuck happened here?"
Obviously, she's missed quite a bit.
((It's a testament to either my laziness or my difficulty playing her that the first half of this post was written on March 7th, and the rest was cobbled together, sentence by sentence, over the following months. Regardless, I'm bringing Dahdtoudi back, and hopefully keeping her back for good.))
If anyone has been looking for me, I've been avoiding the Nexus. Sighting in my new acquisitions, training with Miyakh, discussing language and culture and honor with Rauch'norr; these are all activities that can be done without setting foot in the Nexus, and I'm glad for it.
I don't wish to become a dinosaur, or anything else that is not me, without my express permission beforehand if I can avoid it. I don't want to be gassed without warning, either, but I don't believe that will be a problem any longer.
I'll be making that trip to Ryushi I mentioned this weekend, and will hopefully have returned by Monday evening. I'll be taking enough food and water to last me several more days beyond that.
Thank you, Rauch'norr, for helping to restore my armor to its proper function. The armor will probably come in handy for what I'm planning.
I won't deny that, even outside of the Nexus, it's been a stressful week since Rebecca crashed that SUV into the side of the apartment complex. But there haven't been any sudden terrible changes in my bodily functions, so I'm calling it a good week.
Ether, you'll find my half of the rent for the month in an envelope under your door.
I'm happy with the rest of the week. Confused by the vehicle sticking out of the apartment right now, yes. But overall it's not a bad week.
The training with Miyakh went well; he is quite skilled, but his forms are rough. I suspect, at his age, that he has more than adequate knowledge of the disciplines which he wants to learn from me, but his body is not as capable as he would like it to be.
I've converted a third of the gold he paid me with into 20th-century cash, to help pay my way.
It's a great deal of money. I don't think I'll have to worry about wasting your money any more, Ether.
I located and began talking with Rauchnorr last week. She is a good yautja, strong and honorable. When she is a full member of her clan she'll bring them great honor. Rauchnorr, if you see this, I would like to talk with you again, and soon, if that's possible.
Ether, I am leaving a note on my door if you do not get this one. Next week I will be leaving to go back to Ryushi for a hopefully very brief visit. I'll return as soon as I can, but if something happens and I am unable to return I want you to know where I have gone.
I went to see a Broadway play on Thursday; it sounded like an interesting thing to do. A waste of money. It was a bunch of special effects and big songs supporting a pointless plot. Nothing meaningful or relevant. I suppose I should expect less - it's entertainment, after all. But I'm disappointed in it anyway.
((I apologize to anyone I was RPing with on Thursday that I said I'd get back to them on Friday - it didn't work out that I'd be able to get on then or now, really. I've got time to leave this message, but not much else.
((I'll be around on Monday and Wednesday, but probably not for more than an hour or two at most, and then only around 11:00 PM EST. I might have time to reply during the day - but I'm not holding my breath. Midterms are fast approaching, and I have play practice every day for at least three hours - possibly four.
((I am not letting RP get in the way of doing RL crap, as much as I love it. I did that once. Never again.
She grins. Perfect. It's clunky and it's a rush job and I'd hate to have to deal with this on a real hunt, but it'll do for now, she thinks. She deactivates the headpiece and gets into bed, still wearing the armor. And then she sleeps.
There should be something to make this entry worth its making. So: today I stopped a man from robbing a woman.
I do not know if this entry will post. The technology is so old, I have a hard time trusting it.
I believe this is a sufficient length to determine whether the attempt is enough insurance that this method of journaling will prove worth the effort of typing it all out.
I will have to ask Ether-san about engineering this computer to accept voice commands, if it's possible.
After repeatedly missing a chance to talk to Ether about finding a job for five days straight, having had other things on her mind, her honor cannot take any more waiting on her part. She comes in, drinks a glass of water that she still cannot get over being mostly unfiltered, and knocks on Ether's door. She does not know if he is in, or if she is disturbing him: the matter can't wait any longer.
"Ether-san? Are you in? I need to talk to you."
((I apologize for disappearing for so long, everyone. Real life cropped up in a rather unpleasant fashion. Ethermun: Shall we leave the previous thread as it is, or play it out some more? It's up to you; I'm fine with it either way.))
Dahdtoudi's sitting on her bed, the door to the bathroom open so she can see in.
She's got her two bags and toolbox with her, and Creep.
It's been almost an hour now. Ether will be here any minute, and then she'll be gone.
Ryushi's no longer a good home for her.
"I'm going to miss this place, Creep," she says, and hugs him close. The mutt licks her face, sensing her worry and trying to comfort her as best he can.
She killed the rhynth half an hour ago. They went as painlessly as she could manage. She'll let the lizards and other desert scavengers take the meat from their bones - she doesn't have the time to skin them and clean the meat herself.
"I have no physical means to access the Nexus. I have no way of getting off my planet. That needs to change as quickly as possible. I have heard many of you mention a Pinpoint device, or something called a T-watch. I don't have the luxury of a portal that lets me access the Nexus. I need one of these devices. I have the coordinates of Ryushi on a star chart, if you need them - it's in the Beta Cygni sector, orbiting two suns.
"If you have one of these devices which you can give me, I don't have much to trade, but I would be willing to discuss terms if necessary. And I will need a place to stay for a time, as well. I don't expect to live here for much longer. The situation has been, ah, compromised. Can you help me?
Thank you."
When she's finished transmitting the message, she sits there in silence, having set it to re-transmit very fifteen minutes to be sure the message is heard. She takes out another cigarette and lights it, letting the smoke swirl about her head and disappear.
I miss my father sometimes. I hate him just as often.
But he gave me honor, and helped make me who I am today, so I can't do anything but accept it.
I wish I had not torn up the picture I made for him. But wishing changes nothing.
I remember he used to tuck me in at night and tell me the story of Amaterasu and Susanowo to put me to sleep. I always loved that story, and he never seemed to tire of telling it to me.
I still miss him. I still hate him. I still love him. It changes nothing.
((OOC: Rauch'norr, I mentioned I had a plan to get Dahdtoudi into the Nexus proper and open her up for more involved RP, well, here it is: AvP comics canon states that eventually, long after Noguchi leaves the planet with the yautja, a group of Marines is sent to Ryushi to investigate and determine if there's any strategic value left on Ryushi.
((Instead, they find xenomorphs. Lots and lots of xenomorphs. I haven't read the miniseries myself, yet (and probably never will, as I don't recall it ever being collected in TPB format), but I'm willing to bet there's a Queen among them, too. And so that's the scenario I'm rolling with, folks. There's a small Bug Hive on Ryushi, building slowly because there's so little suitable life on the harsh desert planet, but it's there nonetheless. Soon enough Dahdtoudi is going to discover evidence that some of the Bugs survived the Prosperity Wells incident, and then like a sensible person she's going to go to the Nexus for help, because she's lived through a full-scale xenomorph attack, and there is no dishonor in getting help to fight against something like that.
((Presumably this will lead to her having to give coordinates so people can PINpoint to Ryushi, and at some point she'll get ahold of a PINpoint herself.
((Then everybody goes Bug-Hunting, which we'll handle however it needs to be handled.
Any questions? I'm pretty flexible as far as when this'll happen - but I'd prefer it to be on a Saturday afternoon/night, if at all possible. Weekdays I have classes, and I'd prefer to keep my schedule open to prevent any homework/RP conflict.))
Most of the Nexusites I've encountered seem to be from the 20th century or early 21st.
That means they've experienced something I've never imagined, until now. Something I only remember because I read it in the history books and thought it was the oddest thing.
They've drunk actual unfiltered, unsterilized, untouched water.
I wonder what it tastes like? I've never thought about it.
Huh. Bet you'd want some of that stuff, wouldn't you, Creep? Yes you would, you silly mutt. You'd enjoy it even if it was the normal water, the stuff with so many toxins and pollutants in it you'd choke to death, wouldn't you? Ahh.
Oh, fine. You want me to come play? I'm turning it off. Stupid dog.
Fuck if I know what's going on now, this is surreal. I have to record this, just so I can convince myself I'm not imagining this whole thing.
The tower's still receiving signals from the Nexus. I might even be able to send signals out to the Nexus, too. I haven't tried. I might try later on, when I've contemplated the matter more thoroughly.
Let me think this through. This Nexus is a multiversal access point - if I understand its nature right, it should be able to open up a connection anywhere, even punch through Ryushi's interference and connect directly to my location in space-time.
That's fucking crazy. The idea barely makes sense to me, and I had to use all my half-remembered knowledge of quantum physics to come up with it. But it's about all that makes sense to me at present.
I've got chores to do. This new development doesn't look like it's going anywhere, and I don't feel like investigating it too closely. If I read the latest chatter right, there was an incident earlier - one I've got no interest in becoming a part of.
I'm going to feed the rhynth now, and do some thinking.
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dahdtoudi_mn's journal
